Quis ut Deus
by maximuskarsimys
Summary: Fifty one-sentence-long pieces of Matt/Mello, AU and canon and who-knows-what


I don't own Death Note, and the prompts we're shamelessly stolen from LiveJournal's 1sentence community, sorry about that.

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**#01 – ****Motion **

Matt's thumbs dance on the console, his gaze flickers between the screen and where Mello is sitting, cross-legged on the floor, happily munching on yet another chocolate bar, and Matt's tongue darts to the corner of his mouth, tasting the last remnants of sweetness there.

**#02 – Cool **

Matt supposes his fate was sealed the moment Mello declared at breakfast the day after Matt had arrived at Wammy's, that at least videogames were _cool_ and _a baby could do puzzles._

**#03**** – Young **

Somehow Mello – Mello with his age-old, weary-of-the-world eyes, with his appearance and attitude challenging anyone to think of him as the child he very nearly still is (or never was?) – somehow he manages to look like a newborn, lying naked, curled up against Matt's side.

**#04**** – Last **

Should have known better is the last thought that goes through his mind before the bullets knock him down.

**#05**** – Wrong**

Of course he knows that Mello can take care of himself just fine and that Mello is, well, _I'm a big girl, now, Matty_, and if Mello sometimes doesn't come home for the night, he knows it's not because Mello is in someone else's bed, it's not because he's finally managed to blow himself up for good, but he also knows _Mello_, and Mello isn't there to tell him he's _wrong, you idiot._

**#06 – Gentle**

Despite what appearances might suggest, the one thing you need to be with Mello is gentle.

**#07 – One**

Ten, and Matt stomps in through the door, soaked to the bone, nine, eight, Mello arches an eyebrow and smirks at him, seven, six, five, Matt's shirt is in a messy pile (puddle?) on the floor and his jeans halfway on the way, too, four, and Mello is all but wrapped around him, because no matter how he hates the rain, there is nothing he likes better than the taste of it, three, two, except for, one, _and here's your stupid chocolate._

**#08 – Thousand**

Mello counts the beads of his rosary, and Matt counts each sobbing breath he draws, until Mello has gone through the rounds of Ave Marias and Pater Nosters at least twenty times and Matt has lost count right after he's reached a thousand.

**#09 – King**

Matt rules his own little universe of games and computers with an iron fist, and Mello is the centre of each and every universe Matt could ever think of, only there's no controlling over him.

**#10 – Learn**

Sometimes Matt wonders why he always has to learn everything the hard way.

**#11 – Blur**

After Mello leaves, everything becomes so clear.

**#12 – Wait**

Matt finds him, or maybe Mello lets himself be found, although Matt rather thinks he would have, anyway, but for now all he can do is wait for Mello to find himself.

**#13 – Change**

On the surface Mello is the same; the hair, the wild, mad eyes, black clothes and combat boots, even if the black used to be cotton and not leather, chocolate and the flair for the drama, but something inside has changed, broken, by L, by Near, by Kira, and Matt doesn't know where to look for the pieces.

**#14 – Command**

He isn't sure if there's anything left unbroken out of the ten, anything missing from the collection of seven, and helping Near has only gone so far in way of some twisted atonement; he's made his bed, dug his grave – and Matt's, while he's been at it, as the gut-wrenching guilt likes to remind him – and now all that's left is to lie in it.

**#15 – Hold**

Hold that, _and don't you fucking dare drop it_, hold on,_ I forgot my chocolate_, hold it, _if you shoot now_, hold your tongue, _one word, and I swear, I will_, hold …_hold me_.

**#16 – Need**

Sometimes Matt wants to shout at him, he doesn't need the drama, none of this shit, but he can't risk losing the one thing he does need.

**#17 – Vision**

_Once we get through this_, Matt whispers, _I know where we'll go_, and Mello smiles and prods him in the chest and declares him a prophet.

**#18 – Attention**

Mello would have followed L anywhere, Matt will follow Mello, and Near has always been following the two of them with his piercing, all-knowing eyes.

**#19 – Soul**

For someone who doesn't even believe in the concept of souls Matt worries an awful lot about Mello's.

**#20 – Picture**

If he was Near, he'd have held on to that one last photograph.

**#21 – Fool **

No one would ever believe any of the Wammy's kids could be this big an idiot.

**#22 – Mad**

Don't get mad, get even is a phrase Matt wishes he'd never heard, because really, smashing his Game Boy just because he accidentally ate Mello's last chocolate bar is hardly reasonable.

**#23 – Child**

Eyes wide, mouth agape, Mello looks like a kid at Christmas – because they actually are in a candy store.

**#24 – Now**

It's going to be different this time, it really is, because this time Matt has decided it's going to be him walking away – but Mello is already out of the door before he manages to so much as think about leaving.

**#25 – Shadow**

Matt has always preferred working in the background, lurking in the shadows, and never leaving a trace of his existence, which is all good and well, seeing as the world probably has enough to handle in one Mello.

**#26 – Goodbye**

Mello hums _come on baby don't fear the reaper_, a cruel little smile playing on his lips, whatever twisted images his brain has conjured up tugging at the corners of his mouth, and Matt has to kiss him, because, really, neither of them do, both of them know it, and it really, _really_, isn't like Mello to go around stating the obvious.

**#27 – Hide**

Smoke conveniently hides what Matt doesn't want to show, so perhaps the same goes for Mello, only cigarettes are endlessly safer than his habit of blowing shit up.

**#28 – Fortune**

Worth his weight in gold doesn't apply to Matt, because he's so impossibly skinny.

**#29 – Safe**

If it isn't all kinds of fucked up that the thunder in Mello's eyes, Mello's arse wriggling in his lap, a gun on his temple and Mello mouthing sweet nothings against his throat feels safe, Matt doesn't know what is.

**#30 – Ghost**

It's like he's a fucking mirage, only he really is real, and Mello, all wrapped up in the haze of dying of thirst, doesn't believe.

**#31 – Book**

The look on Mello's face suggests he didn't even think Matt could read when he finds him behind the sofa, curled up with a book, and after the mumbled _it's the last Harry Potter book_, Matt hopes he really does choke with laughter.

**#32 – Eye**

Matt with his ridiculous goggles and his really fucking ridiculously green eyes will one day be the death of him.

**#33 – Never**

_She's an awfully __cute Japanese girl_, and Mello growls at him over the line, _yeah, very serious, for fuck's sake, Mels, you think I'd ever dare even look at anyone else_.

**#34 – Sing**

Matt does _not _dance, but Mello is drunk and giggly and slurs that he doesn't _sing except I just did, so you do now_, and Matt can't argue with drunk-Mello-logic.

**#35 – Sudden**

One heartbeat is all it takes, is all that stands between life and death, and he only barely makes it.

**#36 – Stop**

Somehow getting half his face and torso scorched off doesn't slow Mello down one bit.

**#37 – Time**

He doesn't know where Matt is – seriously, where hell _is_ Matt? – and he's running out of time, stuck here, listening to the tap _drip-drip-drip-drip_ into eternity, because he has to beat Near, has to beat L, has to – and finally the door opens and there's Matt, and here, holding him, reminding him that it's all over, that they did beat L and, in some way, he did beat Near because without him Near never stood a chance, and that time is all they have, now.

**#38 – Wash**

The scars won't wash away, won't disappear, no matter how hard he scrubs or confesses or prays.

**#39 – Torn**

Matt is in New York, working for Near, helping him, and when Mello rips out a page, he isn't sure who he's going to kill first, but they are both going to die.

**#40 – History**

They tumble into bed – finally – after yet another night of carefully placed snide remarks on Matt's part and downright bitching on Mello's, obviously, in a mess, a tangle, a knot of limbs and skin and golden hair and freckles, and God, how Matt has missed this, because there's history even here, no matter how hard Mello tries to deny it.

**#41 – Power**

Eyes blazing with the flames of the Purgatory, he'll cast Kira down from Heaven, slay the beast that is called Dragon, he's fucking Archangel Mihael – _Quis ut Deus_, Mello mumbles and turns in his sleep.

**#42 – Bother**

If the bloody thing doesn't shut the fuck up right sodding now – well, then – then he's going to have to kill it, _really_, he can't concentrate on anything other than the bleeping and tweeting and bloody chirping noises the annoying little bugger is making; his hands twitch and he has to summon every last drop of restraint not to reach for his gun and shoot the thing, because Matt never takes it lightly when Mello breaks his games or kills birds just because they irritate him.

**#43 – God**

Mello has his God, has his Bible and his precious Latin, chanted Ave Marias, guilt and confessions, he has Heaven to reach and Hell to expect, he has his madness and ambition, Near to beat and the Mafia to order around, and he has _Matt_ – and Matt only has Mello.

**#44 – Wall**

He gets Mello's need to build walls around himself, need to don the mask, put on the act, really, he does, but sometimes he wishes he wasn't the only one to see beneath the appalling behaviour and a pretty piece of arse.

**#45 – Naked**

Matt's hands on his back, drawing soothing circles, narrow and wide, up and down, tickling at his sides, fingers skipping over the bumps of his spine – Matt makes him feel exposed, like he's cut open, Matt makes him _feel_, and he hates every single touch, hates that he let's himself.

**#46 – Drive**

Matt has always been easy-going, calm and collected, just as Mello will always be the one person with the ability to drive him round the twist.

**#47 – Harm**

The realisation that none of it matters to him anymore hurts like the bitch he is for dragging Matt into it anyway.

**#48 – Precious**

As time passes, the glimpses of the real Mello become fewer and fewer.

**#49 – Hunger**

Out of all the adventures L told them about, Matt only really remembers the one about B – not so much the hows and the whys of the crimes and solving them, but the fire in Mello's eyes as he listened.

**#50 – Believe**

Mello believes just enough for both of them to save their immortal souls or whatever, but he also believes there's no getting out of this one – then again, even if Mello doesn't believe, Matt does, so maybe that's enough, too.


End file.
